作品简介
作为人，我们都需要彼此，期待着依恋、认可和赞许，渴望自己是被深深爱着的。但如果我们对他人的依赖过了度，对被爱、被认可的感觉上了瘾，那爱就变成了一种永远不会被满足的需求。
本书对情感依赖的典型表现、形成情感依赖的心理根源进行了系统阐述，帮助我们走出渴望依赖-过度付出-受伤痛苦的恶性循环，学会爱自己，最终建立真实、健康的亲密关系。
作者理性而犀利地指出，情感依赖者眼中“热烈浪漫的爱”可能只是抵抗其内心恐惧的工具。但真正的爱不是缓解痛苦的安神药，不是支撑脆弱自尊的“义肢”，而让我们迷恋的对象也不是无所不能的魔术师，不是满足幻想的白马王子，更不是拯救一切的救世主。
战胜情感依赖，需要我们勇敢面对真相，摆脱爱就要与他人融为一体的执念，放弃用取悦换取幸福的幻想，不再认为自己的幸福只能依靠他人获得。因为你才是自己的光，自己的避难所。
只有我们学会对自己的幸福负责，我们才能获得真正的爱。
西尔维·田纳本是一名执业超过35年的资深心理治疗师，欧洲心理治疗师协会会员。
作为一名国际培训师，她在欧洲各国为心理治疗专业人员开设课程和培训项目。她著有包括本书在内的20多部心理学作品。
Introduction of works
As human beings, we all need each other, expect attachment, approval and approval, and yearn to be deeply loved. But if we become too dependent on others and addicted to the feeling of being loved and validated, love becomes a need that can never be satisfied.
This book systematically expounds the typical manifestations of emotional dependence and the psychological roots of forming emotional dependence, helping us to get out of the vicious circle of craving dependence - overgiving - hurt pain, learn to love ourselves, and finally establish a true and healthy intimate relationship.
The author points out, rationally and incisively, that "passionate romantic love" in the eyes of the emotionally dependent may only be a tool to resist their inner fears. But true love is not a tranquilizer to ease pain, not a "prosthetic limb" to support fragile self-esteem, and the object of our infatuation is not an omnipotent magician, not a prince charming to satisfy illusions, and not a savior to save everything.
To overcome emotional dependence, we need to face the truth bravely, get rid of the obsession that love is to integrate with others, give up the illusion of pleasing in exchange for happiness, and no longer think that our happiness can only be obtained by others. Because you are your own light, your own refuge.
Only when we learn to take responsibility for our own happiness can we achieve true love.
Sylvie Tenaben has been a senior psychotherapist for over 35 years and is a member of the European Association of Psychotherapists.
As an international trainer, she runs courses and training programs for psychotherapy professionals in various European countries. She is the author of more than 20 works in psychology, including this book.
